My Life

 

 

 

Well, it might have come thirty years later than it should have, but I get it now.

 

I have spent the past 20+ years figuring things out and doing serious soul searching on the path to becoming the dude that I am now, but it is an ongoing evouoution of the self. Like in that old cancer commercial, “it is a bunch of little eureka’s” (if you remember this, you might be old, or an Al Waxman fan).

 

I concider myself somewhat sensitive to the needs and feelings of others, but I am still an old dog, raised in a different time, and in ways, with diferent values.

 

When I was in school, there were very few “special needs” kids, and I was told that I was lazy and stupid. The teachers would take great delight in passing arround my writing that they refered to as Glenn’s “hyrogliphics”, then laugh and laugh.

 

You see writing hurts, and still does. I can only write a sentence or two and my hands start hurting, but back then, they just said I was lazy.

 

Not that I am complaining (much), and we all have our things to deal with, but as I said, 40 years ago, things were, well just different.

 

Like at work, I know that helping to take down the salad bar is not my job, and I enjoy it, unless I am really busy, then I need as much time as I can get for my own work. I could however be wrong, so I wont say anything, and I am the new guy, and I have a habit of choosing the wrong time to speak up (which I only find funny in retrospect).

 

Well, I am probably straying a bit from my chosen topic, the point is that the teachers made fun of me, and I felt worthless.

 

Oh yes I have a screwed up eye, which to me is no biggie, but it does tend to affect how people “sometimes” treat me, for example, I went back to school as an adult and actually completed something.

 

I will write muh more about this in time, but right now it is only important that I took a series of courses, finished something, and really felt good.

 

Unfortunately there were many interviews where interviewers would say things like “your eye might bother the staff, or our customers”, or the place that said “no, we can’t let you work on computers, but you could work part time, unloading the trucks”

 

Out of desperation I even went to Employabilities, who specialize in placing disabled people. I walked in and before I could explain about my (computer) certifications, the fellow sat back, crossed his hands and said (and I quote) “you are unemployable, you might as well leave”.

 

Talk about feeling worthless, but once again, well, until I gave up, and now I mainly just wash dishes and work in warehouses. I do however keep plugging away at the computer thing, sort of like the lottery, if you don’t buy a ticket, you don’t have any hope.

 

Now that the stage is set, I will get back to our little morality play for tonight.

 

I was sitting in the bar after work a few nights ago, and being a bar there was were one (well more, but that is not part of this story) obnoxious jerk.

 

By the way, this is one reason that I stopped drinking, after getting my little bit of education, I went from a happy drunk to an obnoxious one.

 

anyway, this jerk (emboldened by alchohol) yelled out “********, you have the sweetest ass that I have ever seen”.

 

well sir, all of a sudden, all these things came rushing back to my memory, as I saw this poor girl tighten up, and I could just feel the frustration.

 

It is sad to say, but true, if a lady works in a bar, she will get bigger tips, the fewer or tighter her cloths, that is life, and she chose to work there.

 

No one however should be treated like a thing, or that all they are is a “nice ass”, and sadly I will say to this lady, and all other bar waitresses, whenever this happens, I am sorry, but at least, I get it now.

 

Be happy,be good to others and remember to be good to yourself (you are worth it).

 

Glenn

gaburey@talkingtoghosts.com