My Life

So, it turns out that father never wanted me back home.

While this might sound bad, it really isn’t; let me back up a bit.

I am still happy and as much as he tries, I am still not loosing my cool with father.

As I write this I am actually waiting for the “West Edmonton Mall” Apple store to open in… 8 hours and 13 minutes, actually, not just open, but the grand opening. I have just enough to get an ipod Shuffle (1gig), true I will not have much left to see me through until payday, but I will be fine, and the payday story I will get around to soon.

I actually was not that exited, however I wanted to experience an opening like this; you know at other openings there are people in line, days in advance. By the way West Edmonton Mall is the biggest mall in the world (take that mall of America), so I was expecting a really fun time.

So far there only about 6 people in line, disappointing, but still cool, and if you go to my talkingtoghosts site, I will try to have some video up this weekend.

Wow, did I get off topic!

Anyhoo, father was asking why I declared bankruptcy (99). Now he was there when I was going through it, but he was mourning the loss of his wife, so I am sure that there is much that time is forgotten in the “cruel mist of grief” (cool choice of words huh).

I explained about being tricked into coming here, and as you know that is the reason for much of my bitterness.

Father just said “I never wanted you here”.

Now, this might seem cruel, but, we don’t like each other and we are stuck (yes by fear as much as anything, but I am cool with that).

I reached down and as I touched my dog I realized something, and told father. I said that while I would have preferred to have remained up north, I would not want to give up a moment with my Scruffy.

Father doesn’t want me here, I don’t want to be here, but now everything is pretty much okay, as long as I have my dreams my experiments,,, and a puppy to love.

Sometimes without knowing it, and even in a pile of crap, happiness finds us, like Scruffy found me.

Be happy, be good to others, and always remember to be good to your selfs.

Glenn

Hi everyone;

Wow do I have a story. You see, this morning I was walking my puppy (Scruffy, and yes, he earned that name), and thought that it is about time to do a random act of kindness, pulled scruffy away from something gross and thought no more of it.

As our walk was drawing to a close, one of the neighbours stopped to talk as he was driving by,

Twice I have sorted out computer problems for this guys family, and I used to work with his daughter (total babe), so like acquaintances and neighbours, we spent a few minutes talking. Unfortunately, his other daughter has cancer and has to go to another city for a bone marrow transplant.

Now I take this very personally as mother “thought” herself to death, when she was diagnosed with cancer. You see 50+ years ago she was a nurse, and back then, cancer was (in her mind) a death sentence.

This pushy, strong, opinionated; maybe I should take a moment and tell you about mother, and the best way to do this is to retell a line from her eulogy.

“In their long marriage, Lilian made all the small decisions and being the dutiful wife, left all the big decisions to father; unfortunately, there never seemed to be any, big decisions”.

Anyhoo, this strong woman did something that still un nerves me; she gave up. Less than 5 weeks later, she was dead; maybe outlook would not have changed anything, but that is why I will always take this personally.

Anyway this fellows daughter is well, if you know, you understand, and there is no more explanation needed.

Without thinking about it, and knowing that there will be hours spent waiting in doctor’s offices; I packaged up my ipod touch (my eternal companion), and walked it over to her parents place for her.

Now, lets get this straight, I hate people, I have no time for them, all they have brought me is disappointment. When I am lucky enough to have a girlfriend, life is great, with her I am kind loving and open, but that is it.

Well, the exception is her family, if they are cool, I become Mr. Family dude; basically, I am a lot like Homer Simpson. Beyond this I avoid people (okay, I am desperately lonely, but that is my own pile of crap).

I do strangely, like doing nice things for people, you know, random acts of kindness.

The Christians are correct when they say, “good acts won’t get you into heaven”, however, things like this can make a blue day happy, and, well, on my crazy little world, I feel that people should help each other. Good acts, if done with a happy heart, can change a person, and sometimes, this is where happiness comes from.

Also, if you can give up a cherished possession and feel good about it, it does, in time change one, and I like the change; but I still don’t like people (yeah, I don’t even try to figure it out anymore).

When I needed help, no one was there, and I just don’t want anyone else to feel that way, especially if they are dealing with cancer.

I did have to chuckle, as not 15 minutes earlier, I was thinking about charitable acts; Maybe I should think about the lottery, Ha Ha.

Be happy, be good to others and remember to be good to your selfs

Glenn

Ps. A grapefruit a day and still depression free, but kind of bored; yeah, I am complicated (Ha Ha).