My Life

So If you remember where we left off, that is great, but just in case (you know I tend to ramble) I will summerize.

I wont (if I am strong enough), have degrading sex with men just to relive how I feel arround “father”. Strangely, or happily for me as I like women, unless I am reenacting this role (I assume).

So what do I do so I can overcome this hornyness, whithout doing anything degrading or degrading anyone else?

Maybe I should add a note here, you see I am always talking about sex and it seems (even to me) that I am always horny, wich is another reason that I can’t date. Would you want to be sitting across form this drooling beast at a restaurant who is obviously obsessed with nine years of sexual frustration (and, well, it is a restaurant, so I would pretty much be drooling anyway).

I had a thought, why not just budget for some “compensated company” every once in a while?

Well, at first I will be so crazy from lack of sex that, well (brain, cartoon!), I picture this Lady of the evening standing at my door about to ring the doorbell, then noticing  some bills in her hand, and thinking, wow, that was quick.

Now once this initial sexual release is taken care of, I am sure that I will settle down into the normal male routine, of only, “mostly” thinking about sex, instead of having it consume my life.

Yes, why not just do like I did in Vagas (awsome story) and let professionals look after me?

Well, prostitutes are hard working women, who really are not given the respect, dignity and admiration that we give to (or should give to) any other business woman.

These women, are women first and shouldn’t be put down or used. Unfortunately, I feel that me going to them for help, might be “using them”, so I am not sure what to do.

I have heard very often that there are “women giving it away, everywhere”, well. not so, and if they are, could they be doing it for a wrong reason (like me and abusive guys).

Once again, the “guy” thing hasn’t happened yet and hopefully wont.

So I don’t know what to do, which brings to mind ,,, a story!

This story is entitled “How a prostitute made me feel really good for a toonie!”

For all you international readers, in Canada the $2 dollar coin is referred to as the “toonie”, just google it (or google it on Yahoo) for a fuller explanation.

I was working in one of the more interesting, but less disireable parts of town, and one day while waiting for my bus a slightly grubby but nice looking woman approached me, and being a guy, I sucked my gut in and thought, “alright”.

She asked me if I had any spare change and being a hippie (and she being a woman), I reached in my pocket and produced a toonie, placed it in her super soft and totally hot hand, gently closed it, like in the movies, and looked her in the eye as she said with a smile, “well, it is easier than a date”.

I smiled back and said, “you wouldn’t want to be with me anyway, I mean, just look at me.

She then came close, touched my arm, and whispered in my ear, “it’s okay, it will happen for you”.

And that my friends is the story of how “A prostitute made me feel good for a toonie”.

The point of this heartwarming and poignient story (to me it is heartwarming and a bit poignient, what ever that is), is that I see these women as they are , people, and business women, I just don’t know if I could go to them, in case I caused emotional harm.

What will I do, stay tuned and find out. unless you are a woman in Edmonton, who knows what I am going through and wants to help (please please please please please please please please).