Not depressed today
Friday, June 20th, 2008
So today I am not depressed. I have been depressed for about weeks, not one of those serious ones that let you know that they are there, but one of the sneaky ones that zap your energy, keep you from getting things done and eventually keep you in bed at every possible moment.
I have had this what I call “low level” depression since my cousin left. She was visiting and well when she left, I went back to house sitting (talkingtoghosts.com, see my 4 part article “I an not gay, apparently”) and slipping into an all to common depression.
You see, she is probably the only family member that I talk to (long story). I have also been in love with her ever since; well, loving her is my first memory.
First cousin!!!!!!!!!
It isn’t as bad as it seems, as we are both adopted; weird, but the heart wants, well you know the rest (silly hearts).
Actually I was going to make my “move” when she was here, but I would rather not know and still have her in my life.
To be honest, while I am a groovy dude, I can’t seem to make a relationship work, and I would not want to see her sad or in pain; and after nine years alone, well, it is pretty much hopeless.
But hey, at least I feel something; but back to our story.
I decided to start eating grapefruit to help my cholesterol, and I had one, a red one last night.
Grapefruit apparently have flavinoids in them, which are mood stabilizers and acts like an antidepressant. The same thing is in “dark” chocolate (that is one for us fat guys!).
Now as we all know, antidepressants don’t take effect immediately, that is imposable! Mind you just because something is impossible doesn’t necessarily mean that it didn’t happen.
I went to bed late and had less sleep than usual, but I awoke refreshed, and for the first time in weeks, I wasn’t depressed; and it lasted all day. So guess what I am going out to buy once I finish this; you guessed it, grapefruit and dark chocolate (well, low salt chips; I’ve been good!)
I will let you all know how the next few days go.
Be happy, keep smiling and be good to others
Glenn